The conversation started off very businesslike, we got all of the pleasantries out of the way and came to a resolve about the air condition problem. I noticed he wanted to talk to me about that before he forgets but getting off the phone is better, because he needed me to not notice something else while we talked. Too bad, I know him like the back of my hand.
As we drew near the end of the conversation I asked, "Hey! You Smokin?". I can hear the 'Damn I'm busted' in his reply, "Yeah..What?". I scolded him with..."You know you are not supposed to be smokin no damn cigars!...Not that kind of tabaca (tobacco)!!!" Mind you, I am at work. So I lower my voice to a whisper and continue with the scolding. Then he gets real serious and all 'matter-of-fact' with the tone of his voice when he says "Listen to me". Oh, he called be by my first name too! (It's reeeal serious now) I'm thinking...OK maybe his health is at risk again and if that's what he wants to do in his last days, who am I to judge.
Surely what other reason could it be? This dude was serious in his voice and in his heart that he should go back to smoking because his clothes doesn't fit anymore. I never laughed so hard.
He said that he was getting too big and all he does it eat! WTF!! I asked him why doesn't he go on a diet or cut his portions down. He attempted to convincingly explain that's exactly what he was doing. And I quote ..."Smokin is my diet." He went on to tell me that a cup of coffee and a cigar in the morning keeps him from eating because he's not hungry so then he can go all day without eating. Again I say... WTF!!! This in no way can be healthy. I let him know that too! Then I told JO Smooth he's got to get off my phone. I had to go back to work so he can get back to his dieting. Arrrugh I give up!
As we drew near the end of the conversation I asked, "Hey! You Smokin?". I can hear the 'Damn I'm busted' in his reply, "Yeah..What?". I scolded him with..."You know you are not supposed to be smokin no damn cigars!...Not that kind of tabaca (tobacco)!!!" Mind you, I am at work. So I lower my voice to a whisper and continue with the scolding. Then he gets real serious and all 'matter-of-fact' with the tone of his voice when he says "Listen to me". Oh, he called be by my first name too! (It's reeeal serious now) I'm thinking...OK maybe his health is at risk again and if that's what he wants to do in his last days, who am I to judge.
Surely what other reason could it be? This dude was serious in his voice and in his heart that he should go back to smoking because his clothes doesn't fit anymore. I never laughed so hard.
He said that he was getting too big and all he does it eat! WTF!! I asked him why doesn't he go on a diet or cut his portions down. He attempted to convincingly explain that's exactly what he was doing. And I quote ..."Smokin is my diet." He went on to tell me that a cup of coffee and a cigar in the morning keeps him from eating because he's not hungry so then he can go all day without eating. Again I say... WTF!!! This in no way can be healthy. I let him know that too! Then I told JO Smooth he's got to get off my phone. I had to go back to work so he can get back to his dieting. Arrrugh I give up!
1 comment:
"Smokin is my diet!" That's the funniest shit ever. He's on cigars now? Oh,oh!
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