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Wednesday, February 15, 2017

I Know Her

You don’t know Angela but I do. You don’t know….HER. I call her An-jella (with the Ang part pronounced like you would say Angel). My God, she is a living, breathing, walking this earth, live in the flesh, oxymoron. A beautiful contradiction I might add. I may have met a few but don’t recall because they don’t define it like she does for me to even remember. 
She’s never lied to me before so I didn’t have a reason to, but I didn’t believe her today when I asked her how was she doing and feeling. I really needed to know because it matters. See, it matters because PARENTING is challenging enough but with AUTISM, it’s a beast, BILLS are fucking relentless and CANCER is bitch. So I asked her for picture to prove to me her current state of being. I’ve been shielded from seeing her through her journey of healing but today I got to see with my own two eyes. 
When I saw her in the picture, I expected to see Angela. Instead I saw An-jella. I saw that beautiful contradiction. My cousin who is like a sister to me is so strong, but very fragile. I know her. I’ve experienced her as bird with both wings broken and witnessed her as a blazing phoenix.  I tell you, seeing her with no cushion where thick curly hair used to be under her black and white flowered head wrap, no make- up, tattoo accompanied scared body and a smirk just gave me life! 
In that photo I saw her mother, my mother, our past, our relationship, her healing, her beauty, Tay, Mason & Maurice, life and well-being either way. I asked her how she was doing. She said she was good and you know what? SHE WAS! It did my heart really really good. I couldn’t be more proud of her if I wanted to. GI Jane ain’t got shit on my An-jella!