Truth to the 3rd Degree

In an conversation this morning with my favorite cousin in the whole wide world we have concluded quite a few things. You see today is her birthday and like all birthdays it's like our personalized New Year's we tend to reflect. The thing that resonated the most with us is that we will be true. If not to anyone else, we will be true to ourselves. Truth and trust for me comes in levels of degrees. This is where I weigh the honest according to those involved and the circumstances and what I expect the outcome to be through the actions of others and myself. I've defined levels 1-3.

Level 1

Keeping Your Mouth Shut

• When someone confides in you, don't tell their business. Naturally I expect people to give me the same courtesy and I would hate to think that I would have to start every conversation with "Don't Tell Anybody, but uhh...".  Well obviously you do. You have to communicate instructions, people naturally think it's ok to be forthcoming with your business even if you think about the courtesy with theirs. 

Level 2

High Alert

• There are those in your life, who you know can love you, and wouldn't want to see harm come to you, but they don't want to see good come to you either. That's the truth! They can be family or friends, real close to you, but with them you have to decide what to share. You have to  be guarded. You can allow some information but it's got to be filtered because while some may even appear to have your best interest at heart, it's something about you they either secretly admire, secretly hate or secretly covet.

Level 3

Honesty

• This one I've found to be the hardest one to come by. It involves the actions in doing and sometimes not doing. This is the truth where you want to know a person is doing right by you. You have to define what "right by you" is for you. For some it may be keeping employment or being treated with gentleness and kindness for others it might be fidelity. I believe however, in this kind of truth, you have to be a participant, not just the expecting party. This is the one where you call a spade a spade. You should be able to put all the cards on the table and then decide if you will or will not/can or cannot. 

Trust for me counterbalances love, if not more. I crave all three levels to be rectified in my life and I plan on starting with me. Since I have these levels spelled out, I have to sort out. I can place who goes where and handle those accordingly.  I want to be privy to not having to do this. I wish I could be me and share me without having to put so much thought and energy into maintaining relationships this way. But humans are flawed.