My Last Day

My friend and I have this recurring conversation about how we will leave our jobs. We have turned over many scenarios in our discussion and I'm sad to announce that great debauched minds attract and think alike (which is probably why we are friends). But of all the scenarios I would have to say there is one that's my absolute favorite.


You see in my synopsis I've won the lottery. Yes I would go to work the day after receiving my first check of many because I know this is my last day. Of course I would drive up in a Panemera and park in the President's spot or block her in...whatever option is available at the time. Proceed to my office with my big designer sunglasses, and purse to match the stilettos. In my purse would be a huge towel, I will need that to sit on....we don't any dirt to touch..that's not sanitary. Oh I forget to mention my outfit. Yeah it would be a thong bikini and nothing else.

I would turn on that computer and start approving Epars like nobody's business. I'd wait for the morning pleasantries to commence because I would have a the most chipper and delightful hello to this one particular person we've named Big Red (she's my boss). At that point I'd would wait for the response that would cue me to tell her everything I really want her to know...like how I feel about her. When I'm done being bored with her expression then I would move on the next asshole on my list. Walking down the hallways to offices of those I dislike, Missy here would politely knock on the doors and ask to have a word. Removing my towel to be seated of course, I think I would start the conversation a little something like this...."You mind if I have a word with you?...There's something I think you should know..."


See! That's why I won't be the one to win the lottery.