Construction

WOW! This week has been a flood of news and information. You see right now I'm under construction. That means work is being done on me. I know because my feelings are all mixed up and overwhelming.


I was instructed not to lose hope because that's really all I have. If I loose that, then God help me! That's my future. That's the glimpse or speckle of what was promised to me. I have the task of knowing there's somewhere I'm supposed to be...how to be. But I have no earthly clue as to how I'm supposed to get there. I'm not a logical person or even an analytical person..one who makes sense ....one who knows whether or not the numbers add up because if they do, then all is good and it's a go. Nope! That's not me. My emotions propel me. My creativity provides my insight and that's my logic. A Dreamer. That's my thinking brain...it's what makes sense to me.


Everything about me being here in this "Corporate America" is exorbitantly incorrect. Yet it's my home, I'm indubitably lodged. Fire Under My Ass! For this reason I won't be comfortable. I won't move forward. I won't be satisfied. I won't be appreciated. I won't succeed. I won't be happy. I won't be cured.


I won't be cured. Because I'm under construction. Have you forgotten already? That's what happens. I forgot. Already. Distraction. Unannounced, uninvited, unexpected and un-beknownst welcomed. That's what happens when you forget. You get off course. If you are like me, you get Corporate America! So then you have to get Under Construction! You have to feel that burn. You have to eat a heap of that pie you don't like very much. You know which pie I'm talkin' bout! And then you have to listen.


I'm Under Construction.

The Alternative

I had this conversation with my cousin today and thought it was hilarious. You see only she and I have this weird off balance (for lack of a better term) sense of humor. I would describe it as a creative stretch of the imagination the way we communicate and entertain our fun loving side. She must have sensed I was in the funk and she called me today to check on me. It's always a welcomed interruption when she calls. So I was telling her that I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired...just life. What had I said that for?!!!! So then it begins!


She reminded me that the "Alternative" doesn't sound that great either. Can you imagine yourself laying in the bed and then you open your eyes and say "God I don't want to do this today, I don't feel like going to work."...then you close your eyes again and will yourself to get out of bed. Well wait a minute! Just before you "mentally prepare" you hear a heavy breathing whispering sound and feel a mist of freshly whipped up steam (like a smoke machine in a haunted house ) and you open your eyes to see the grim reaper emerging from your freshly vacuumed carpet. What would you do?


Well I've already fashioned in my brain that I would be headed to closet picking out clothes to wear, brushing my teeth and combing my hair. Yeah and when confronted by those words, "God I don't want to do this today"....I would politely lie. Yes I would. I would act as if Grimm had the wrong house and insist that he checks his clipboard because I would deny that those words crossed my thoughts furthermore lips all the while putting my clothes on for work. I know it would be one of the oldest tricks in Grimm's book but I would have to convincingly attempt it. And the icing on the cake would be the person laying next to you with a dumb founded look asking...."Ummmm who are you talking to?"


I guess when put like that...the "Alternative" doesn't sound that great.